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Feeling like a failure is the dark side of our culture’s obsession with being rich, famous and thin.

Who owns the definition of success?
Feeling like a failure might be better reframed as an excessive tendency to compare oneself to others. If you have an uncritical belief that worth can be measured by money, status or fame you are setting yourself up for unhappiness and missing out on other very important areas of human experiencing. Stories abound of successful executives or performers whose personal and spiritual lives were in a shambles.. sometimes to deadly effect.

Initial definitions of success are often inherited from family and culture
One of the first holes that we have to climb out of is the origin of our standards. Up until a certain age (say, nine or ten), we accept the standards of our culture and our families fairly uncritically. For one thing, as children, our intimate universe is largely confined to family, school and neighbourhood and there may be few competing value structures to pull or push us out of them. In adolescence or young adulthood opportunities appear to consciously adopt alternative value systems but we do not always consider this. In fact, if we feel at all unsteady as we go out into the world, unfamiliar value systems may be scoffed at and felt to be inferior or at the very least strange and possibly dangerous. Our inclination to remain with what is familiar, no matter how hurtful it may be to us, is often a trap that confines us like an invisible electric fence. The tiny spark of uncomfortable anxiety that we feel when we are touched by “the shock of the new” is too often enough to make us recoil instinctively… and respond with a put-down, a joke or a snarl … anything but courageous curiosity and an open mind.

Is Steven Hawkins with his brilliant mind confined to a wheelchair successful in the same terms as an olympic athlete? Is a nun successful in the same terms as a pop star? Is a good mother successful in the same terms as a business executive?

Received values vs Personal values

Question where your visions of success come from.
“Everybody says so” or “Everybody knows” are not actually authorities.
In fact, “everyone” is just as likely to be “no one”.

Speak to real people you admire about what they consider important in life. Read biographies of individuals whose lives you consider to be successful. You may be very surprised at what parts of their life they feel humanly best and worst about. The top athlete may value his emotional connection to his team members, or his commitment to his faith or feel deeply proud of his volunteering. The eminent professor may be very proud of his golf score. Even individuals who have achieved substantial “worldly” success may regret other personal paths not taken.

Develop your own authentic vision of a good life and try to live it.
“Everybody’s” standards may actually be too vague and general for you as an individual. Positive psychology researchers have discovered that there is a nearly universal set of 24 positively valued human attributes. They include:  Love, Curiosity, Fairness, Judgement and Open-mindedness, Love of learning, Creativity, Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence, Honesty, Humor, Self-regulation, Social intelligence, Modesty and Humility, Zest for life, Prudence, perspective and a dozen others. It is worth considering what it might mean to be a success in these domains of value… qualities of character that are honored and appreciated in every age, social group and human culture.

Five ways to feel more successful now.

(1) Choose reasonable goals.Goal setting and motivation work best on mid-level and achievable goals.
YES!… Getting to sing a solo in your church choir or school talent show requires effort and dedication and gets you recognition from real people around you.
NO!… Chasing a fantasy of becoming Britanney Spears by the time you are nineteen is a receipe for heartbreak and frustration.
(2) Take a broader view of success. Include the positive human values proposed above. Write them into your plans and aspirations and check your success and progress in those terms.
(3) Take an incremental view. Incremental means partial.. “baby steps.” Judge your success by whether you are advancing over-all.
(4) Choose your role models wisely. Focusing your desire to emulate on a real person in your accessible environment has many benefits.
YES!… Find yourself a role model in your community who has access to local facilities, and contacts. They can provide real world support and advice.
NO!… Trying to emulate a multimillionaire international expert in a field is NOT an incremental goal…You will be unnecessarily frustrated by your lack of means and options.
(5) Celebrate your incremental successes. The moment of a success is sometimes fleeting and often private. fragile memories of genuine successes can be too easily erased by set-backs and hurdles.

All these gestures create memory traces and underline “success memories” in your mind so that they are more salient and memorable.

Lost your values? Failure feelings may signal clinical depression. Look for help!
Do you feel adrift? Do you have trouble feeling that anything is of value?

Hopelessness and emptiness are signs of depression. If your feeling of failure is associated with mild or serious depression, it may be wise to seek help. Speak to your doctor to rule out medical reasons for depression, seek counseling to address the emotional or relationship issues that are creating your lowered mood. Resolving your depression may be the first step towards regaining the energy and focus that you need to invest in action and move forward towards your goals.

Worth noting: A essay by psychological researcher Brett Pelham (1993) suggests that even the most highly depressed individuals hold at least one positive self-view and on this aspect of self they feel just as confident and successful as anyone else…or even more successful than others. Pelham observes that depressed individuals often focus positively on these areas in order to lever themselves out of depressed periods.

Beware “non-human, non-solutions”
Individuals who feel unsuccessful may sometimes try to “self-medicate” with drugs or alcohol. Drugs and alcohol temporarily deaden the emotional distress and may fill the individual with chemically induced feelings of success, attractiveness or influence… for a few minutes or hours. These are non-human “non-solutions” which actually do nothing but damage the body and typically rebound emotionally to create even deeper negative self-opinions, ie: “I’m a failure AND I have no will power.”

Other individuals may attempt to deflect their worries about success by creating an artificial “show” of material affluence, by spending money to impress others, by engaging in shopping sprees, by endebting themselves to purchase status objects or by gambling and chasing a big win or a big but risky business opportunity, especially if money is their gauge of success.

Non-human, non-solutions ultimately cause more problems than they solve.

One, two, three… Stop feeling like a failure.

(1) Start by being true to your self…
Judge yourself by a unique set of personally meaningful values.
(2) Adopt a questing mindset…
When you are open and curious about your life and experiences there is no such thing as failure, only opportunities for understanding, development and growth.
(3) Avoid falling prey to what “Everybody knows” by seeking “uncommon wisdom”…
It often helps to seek support in this domain. Talking to a therapist or counsellor, or joining a special interest or faith group, can support and underscore the attitudes and perspectives that you are trying to maintain or develop…. and help you start feeling like a success… in the broadest, deepest and most meaningfully human sense.

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The figures are out and they are startling to say the least ! It is now reckoned that about 10% of American children are kids with ADHD and that could be as many as 2.4 million children. Even more alarming is the fact that only about 50% of these have actually got diagnosed and are getting treatment. ADHD in small kids may seem a relatively minor problem but with figures like these, it does mean that there is an enormous pool of people who are going to carry ADHD into adulthood.

That means a high price in human and economic terms as the number of accidents due to impulsivity in driving, substance abuse, imprisonment and ruined relationships will inevitably rocket. Unfortunately a large number of kids with ADHD do not outgrow the disorder and hyperactivity, impulsivity and distractability will have an negative impact on their lives. They may call it by other names such as inability to stay on task or multitasking but the disorder remains.

Now that ADHD medication with drugs is a hot controversial issue, it is worth pointing out that in dealing with ADHD in small kids, there is a wide choice of alternative therapies and treatments available. At school, you can offer to be a parent volunteer and can also get informed on IEP and /or the 504 plan to make sure that your child is getting the best attention.

Why not consider learning a few strategies about

ADHD behavior therapy as your relationship with your child is key to him or her understanding the rewards and consequences of good and bad behavior. No ADHD drug can do that ! This strategy will help you to help your ADHD child to cope with tasks, organise his life, improve social relationships and learn what is acceptable behavior. Experts now say that this is the one most effective technique to deal with ADHD in small kids. The sooner we start, the better the results.

Exercise, diet and parental support can all have a positive impact on an ADHD child. Meditation using visualisation, music and nature has had some very good results. Children in Australia went through a series of lessons on meditation and there was a 35% improvement in symptoms such as hyperactivity, lack of focus and inattention. A lot of the children were able to go without medication or at least halve the dosages they were on.

ADHD in small kids has been hyped up so much that parents often get a diagnosis for ADHD before the age of five which is unwise to say the least. As regards treatment, ADHD homeopathic remedies are ideal for treating ADHD in small kids as there are no side effects and the health risks are non-existent.

Robert Locke is a Health enthusiast who specializes in Children’s Health. He has written extensively on ADHD. Discover what Alternative ADHD Therapy is available.

You know you suffer with sinus allergy or allergic rhinitis when your autoimmune response overreacts to particles, such as dust & pollen, in the air that you breathe…

…this means that you are allergic to them causing symptoms such as sneezing, getting a runny nose & sinus problems.

People with allergies usually have symptoms for many years but often suffer with seasonal allergies, also known as seasonal allergic rhinitis, or hay fever.

These allergies also often lead to other problems such as sinusitis and ear infections as a result of your allergies.

Allergic rhinitis (also called hay fever) affects up to 30% of the population.

5 Effective Home Remedies for treating a Sinus Allergy

1. Eliminate Dust & Animal Hair Regular cleaning of your living space to get rid of dust mites & animal hair which are one of the most common types of allergens.
2. Sinus Irrigation Simple saline nasal irrigation is so effective, that many people have experienced miraculous relief just from saline nasal sprays or regular irrigation with a neti pot.
3. Use Synthetic Pillows They’re better for you than the feather types & most importantly can be washed regularly in hot water.
4. Eliminate Mold With Fungicides Wipe down surfaces in your bathroom regularly to control problems of mold with a fungicide or bleach.
5. Seal Your Bedding in Plastic Dust mites love bedding & sealing your mattress & pillows in plastic will ensure you don’t inhale dust mite waste but breathe clean air.

So whilst a certain amount of exposure to allergens that affect you is unavoidable, you can certainly alleviate your sinus allergy by practicing the above allergic rhinitis treatments.

People quite commonly talk about having “sinus trouble” or a “sinus infection.” But when asked what the sinus is, they point vaguely behind the nose and say, “It’s something back there.” Actually the word sinus simply means a pocket or hollow. There are sinus cavities in the kidney (renal sinus), behind the ear (mastoid), in the heart (aortic) and around the nose (paranasal sinuses). However, the term sinus in popular conversation almost always means the paranasal sinuses. When these sinuses becomes infected, they can become quite painful and interfere with normal” drainage of the nasal cavities.

It is not very certain whats the function of this paranasal sinus is, other than having some relation to this drainage or the resonances of sounds in speaking and singing. There are 2 basic types of sinus infection (sinusitis) – acute and chronic. Acute refers to the sudden, severe, short-term type of infection. Chronic means the kind that progresses slowly over a long period of time. Acute sinusitis usually follows an infection in the upper respiratory passages or teeth or a nasal allergy.

There is congestion and pus-like discharges from the nose, and the affected sinuses look cloudy either on X ray or when a strong light is shone through them (trans-illumination). Drainage is often blocked by swollen tissues. Headache, fever, chills, and a general ill feeling also occur. There may be pain in the teeth, swelling near the eyes or pain, tenderness, redness or swelling near the involved sinus, or a wide variety of symptoms including dizziness or a cough. Usually more than one sinus cavity is involved in an infection.

The symptoms of chronic sinusitis are very similar, except that pain in the area of the sinuses is not common. Chronic persistent sinusitis is often complication which follows acute sinusitis. Often, sinus attacks occur whenever the patient comes in contact with the specific substance to which he is allergic. Sinusitis can also appear in some patients after swimming or diving. In either acute or chronic sinusitis, the treatment must include reopening drainage by shrinking the swollen sinus tissues with decongestant medication and treating the basic infection with systemic antibiotics.

Nasal suction, “steam or heat packs can be used to aid the drainage. General measures should also include bed rest, a light diet and plenty of fluids. Painkillers or sedatives may be prescribed by the doctor. In extreme cases, surgery may be needed to reopen drainage or repair damaged sinus and nasal tissues and passages. If you seem prone to sinus problems, the best protection is to avoid catching colds or other nose and throat infections by following good general health measures, and by identifying and avoiding anything you may be allergic to.

Knowing how to dissolve kidney stones can be the difference between living in excruciating pain or finally finding relief from it. Many people are surprised when they learn they have a kidney stone and don’t really understand that much about it other than the fact that it causes an incredible amount of discomfort. Traditional medicine takes several different approaches to treating a kidney stone depending on its size. If you’ve been told that you need to wait for nature to take its course and dissolve your stone, you are likely feeling frustrated. If you’re tired of waiting for fate to decide when this will happen, it’s time to take matters and your stone into your own hands.

Understanding how to dissolve kidney stones begins with recognizing the importance of water therapy. Many people have found great success with dissolving their stones through a water regime. Typically this involves drinking two glasses of water every couple of hours throughout the day. This can help shrink the stone enough that it is more easily passed. The drawback to this is that you’ll need to visit the washroom frequently, which can be a little bothersome and restrictive. Also, this can days or even weeks to work and in the meantime you are still forced to live with the constant discomfort.

Changing your diet is also very beneficial if you want to dissolve a kidney stone. Most people who have developed a stone just don’t have the required knowledge they need to make informed and wise choices about their diet as it relates to the kidney stone. Stop consuming dairy products immediately as they can make the stone grow even bigger in size. You also want to limit your intake of salty and fatty foods. Turn to things like whole grain breads and chicken. These both are proven to be helpful with keeping the size of the stone under control until it passes.

Many people suffer with the discomfort of a kidney stone at some point in their lives. If you decide to pursue the traditional route of treatment be prepared to undergo surgery or take medications. There are natural ways to completely dissolve the kidney stone within 24 hours. Find out from this helpful site what you can be doing at home to help you pass the stone today.

You don’t have to live one more day with the never ending pain and discomfort of a kidney stone. If it’s impacting your life, it’s time to change that right now. There is help and it’s all natural and effective. You can be rid of your kidney stone without surgery.

[Article Source = Dissolve Kidney Stones]

It is a fact that fish oil supplements containing omega 3 fatty acids have been promoted in the media as being effective at lowering cholesterol levels. Although it is true that to a certain extent fish oil and cholesterol are correlated, there is no conclusive evidence that there is a direct relationship between them.

Instead of worrying about your cholesterol readings being too high, you are better off focusing on the risk of heart disease that you are exposed to. And fish oil supplements can definitely reduce that risk.

Let me explain what I mean.

As you probably know, there are two types of cholesterol, performing two opposing functions: One is LDL and is the bad one being responsible for the accumulation of plaque on your arteries and the other one is HDL, which does exactly the opposite: removes the plaque from the arteries.

Now, the risk level of you developing heart related problems at any point in your life is directly proportional to the ratio of bad to good cholesterol. The higher the ratio, the higher the risk. Therefore, estimating your heart disease risk by just the number of LDL (the bad cholesterol) alone, it surely is bad practice.

Apart from cholesterol, your triglycerides levels also play a significant role when it comes to estimating heart disease risk. In case you don’t know, triglycerides are fatty substance that circulate in the bloodstream. Too much of it might clog your arteries.

To make it even more complicated, there is an additional risk factor, which has recently been identified by scientists. This is associated with the so called C-reactive protein and is a measure of inflammation in your blood. Mind you, this protein has nothing to do with cholesterol.

To sum up, the risk of heart disease is more complex to estimate than merely basing your judgment on cholesterol numbers alone. It’s a combination of factors, which interact with each other.

Now, having formulated a more complete picture of the causes of heart disease, you can better appreciate the wonderful properties of fish oil (the omega 3 fatty acids contained in it to be exact) and how they can contribute to the reduction of the relevant health risk.

First, fish oil is a powerful anti-inflammatory, so it can help reduce the risk from the C-reactive protein.

Second, the omega 3 fatty acids help prevent clumping and stickiness of the blood. Thus, blood can flow more easily in the arteries reducing the probability of heart attacks or strokes.

Another important property of fish oil is that it helps prevent plaque build-up inside the arteries. Again, this is important, considering that what actually causes heart attacks, strokes and heart disease in general is this formation of plaques.

In conclusion, you should bear in mind that the omega 3 fatty acids contained in fish oil are excellent not only for you heart, but for your overall health in general.

But remember, not all fish oils are created equal. You have to be selective at what you use. Personally, I use the fish oil produced by a company in New Zealand, called Xtend Life. Their product far outperforms their competition.

To become better informed and see why I recommend this particular fish oil, visit my website.